Babe in my arms,
So soft and so cute.
How I love and adore you.
I'll rock you tonight
And sing you a song
To soothe and comfort, my babe.
Toddler of mine,
Exploring our world.
I love to see you discover
New things and new people
New words and new concepts.
Wonders abound, my toddler.
Child, my child,
Growing so big.
Learning about what you love.
School work and lessons
May seem quite a chore,
But it's for the best, my child.
Oh teenager.
You think you know all.
I pray for your safety daily.
We argue and discuss,
But love and comfort, too.
You amaze me, teenager.
Grown-up child mine,
My babe you'll always be,
Though now you are older and wiser.
You have a family and job
And live in honor and love.
I'm proud of you, my grown-up child.
Baby from my womb,
Straight to Heaven you went.
These memories will never be ours.
I don't understand why,
But I know there's a plan.
I will meet you in Heaven
Someday
My precious, little baby.
-In loving memory of my unborn children
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
A Beautiful House
My beautiful house is one I love.
It shelters my cherishing husband,
My protective son,
And loyal daughter.
My children have children and spouses of their own.
I make sure to remember their birthdays and holidays.
I love the ocean.
I love chocolate.
I love many different kinds of food.
I remember the wild days of when I was young,
So I connect with those young'uns and what they're going through.
I love the Lord with all my heart
And entrust Him with my future
Is this my house?
Is my husband still here?
How is my daughter?
Where is my son?
Are they married?
Do they have kids?
What day is today?
Is it special in some way?
I love the ocean.
I love chocolate.
I only like chinese food.
I remember the simple days of when I was young.
What did I have for lunch?
I know I've seen this movie,
But don't know who's in it or what will happen next.
I'm tired.
I'm weary.
I'm sad.
I know my mind is slipping away,
But I don't know how far I've gotten
Or what even remains.
I love the Lord with all my heart
And entrust Him with my future.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Repeat
She sat in her seat at the conference table twirling her long, dark hair through her fingers and staring blankly at the rain drops hitting the sky light above her. The morning meeting would start soon and they would expect her report.
Why do I even bother coming to these things anyway? It's not like things are going to change.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear boss asking her to report.
"Michelle? Are you with us?"
"Yes, sir. I apologize. Transfers went smoothly without incident. Specifics are in the reports sitting in front of each of you."
No wonder her father wasn't the one who attended these meetings. Much like him, she would rather be out in the field doing the work rather than reporting everyone else's work, but someone has to do report to the pencil pushers and she drew the short straw for this year. Making up the reports took a whole day, which left no time to Transfer. To be fair, every year a different agent was selected to do these reports and this was her last one for the year. Tomorrow, she'd get to go out again.
Leaving the meeting, she could barely contain her excitement until she thought about the reports...things had gotten too easy out in the field. While it was nice that things always went well and there were zero incidents in the last year (in the last several years, actually) it was kind of boring sometimes. Humanity had lost its will to fight, to some extent, and Michelle hadn't felt challenged in quite some time.
Walking into her office, she plunked herself in her chair and checked her email.
Subject: Special Assignment
Message:
See me in my office ASAP.
-Peter
Peter? Why did Peter want to see her? She wasn't even in his department. Oh well. She hopped out of her seat and headed to his office. When she walked in, she was surprised to see her father sitting in there as well.
"Michelle. Thank you for coming so quickly. Michael and I have been discussing how before you became a desk jockey for a year, you were starting to become bored with your work," Peter said.
Michelle glared at her father for oversharing. "I wouldn't say bored per se. It's just that technology has made our job too easy. People either no longer care to fight for life or they are no longer given the opportunity. I care about them and want for them to care about them too."
Michael smiled, clearly happy with how his daughter had turned out. "That's why you've been selected for this assignment. Someone in Peter's department is becoming not 'bored per se' with his job as well and we thought of a task to put both of you to the test."
"With permission from the Big Man, of course," Peter piped in.
"Of course. Are you interested?" Michael asked.
"YES!" Michelle just about screamed. Realizing she was in grave danger of becoming unprofessional in her demeanor, she took a breath and relaxed herself into the seat next to her father.
Peter hit his buzzer to his secretary. "Send him in."
A tall, broad shouldered blonde walked in. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was some kind of athlete...well, he kind of was. Peter began.
"Hello James. We want to see which one of you will win out competing against each other. As you know, you're from two different departments, but there was a time when we were constantly getting into each other's face. Before medical technology and cars and guns and...well...you get the picture. Your task is simply to succeed and hopefully by the end of your task, you will both have better appreciation for your jobs. This is your assignment..."
Peter pointed to a pretty young lady; early twenties, happy, no idea of what's about to hit her. Michael now continued.
"This is Samantha. Michelle, your task is to Transfer her mother, Glinda. James, your task is to help Samantha prevent the Transfer."
"What?" they asked simultaneously.
"We know this is unorthodox," Peter said, "but we think this will help you. You will have three gos at this. Best two out of three wins. Whoever succeeds two times will get a well-earned vacation."
Vacation? In their line of work, they never got vacation, but it sure sounded good. People seemed to enjoy vacations quite a bit and it would be nice to interact with them without Transferring or assisting them in some way.
"Deal," James said.
Michelle hesitated..."Deal."
It was time to go on assignment.
Day One. Samantha and Glinda jumped into the car to go to an appointment for Glinda. Michelle looked her over. This would be a cake walk. Glinda had a bad heart and it was clearly her time to go. But Michelle was confused on what Samantha had to do with anything. Sure, she was related to Glinda, but would that really make a difference? It would be interesting to see what James did to prevent the Transfer through Samantha. Michelle had never had to deal with someone in his department before. She wondered if he was as confused by her as she was of him.
"I'm not nervous about this appointment," Glinda said calmly.
"I am," replied Samantha. She turned off Glinda's home street onto the main road.
"Sam, we've talked about this. I'm ready to go if this experimental surgery didn't do what it was theorized to do."
"I am NOT ready for you to go, Mom!" Samantha yelled. She quickly merged onto the freeway.
Her eyes were on fire. Michelle just sighed. This is why her job had become so easy. People went to the doctor and when the doctor said it was over, they just resigned. She completely understood why Samantha was upset.
"Sam, I love you. You know that, but I am secure in my soul and ready to end the pain I've been in for so long. Please don't be angry with me for that." Glinda said just as calmly as before despite the tension hanging in the air of the car.
Samantha breathed deeply. "I know you do. And I understand but-"
Before she could finish her thought, a semi came up behind them fast and clipped their end as it changed lanes. Samantha's car swirled as she lost control and it flipped over off the freeway into the ditch. This was Michelle's moment. Where the heck was James?
Michelle approached Glinda. "Hello."
"Hello. Are you here for me?" Glinda asked.
"Mom?" Samantha asked groggily. "Mom, who are you talking to?"
Michelle answered Glinda's question. "Yes, are you ready? I heard you discussing things with your daughter. He's waiting for you to come home."
"He is?" Glinda inquired with tears in her eyes.
James was watching. Why wasn't he doing anything? It was almost like he wanted to lose.
"Yes." Michelle reached out for her and Glinda grasped her hand.
Samantha was still confused when the Transfer happened. Glinda was gone before she knew it. And when she realized it, it was too late.
All of a sudden, Michael showed up. "Hello, Glinda! I'm going to bring you home now. Michelle, I'd like you to stay with Samantha for a bit."
"What? But comfort isn't my job!"
"I didn't say it was."
When she turned to look at Samantha, she noticed someone in the Comfort department over there stroking her hair and whispering words into her ear. She'd never stayed to see the reaction of family after a Transfer before. Samantha was a mess and Michelle was miffed. This wasn't fair! Glinda gave in so easily and Samantha was left in a car upside down covered in her tears and the blood of her mother.
"Why didn't you fight?" Sam interrupted Michelle's thoughts. "You were so close to beating this! Why didn't you fight?!?"
Bright light filled the sky and James and Michelle were back to watching Samantha and Glinda jump into the car on the way to the appointment.
Michelle turned to James. "What are you doing? How could you just stand there and watch Glinda give up on life? You're in the Persistence department and you did nothing to help Samantha prevent me from Transferring Glinda!"
Samantha turned on to the main road.
James replied, "She was done with life! She was in pain and wanted it to end! Who am I to prevent that?"
"You're job is in the Persistence department! It's your job to...to...to help people persist. To fight for themselves regardless of what life, or death in this matter, throws at them. You're here to help them deal with it."
Samantha quickly merged onto the freeway.
"And you're job is to Transfer people into a better realm of reality."
"But look at what happened with Samantha! She was so sad about her mother leaving!"
"Did you see Glinda so happy to be out of pain and going to meet her Maker?"
"Do your job this time...or I won't even attempt mine."
The accident happened.
Michelle went and started her talk with Glinda.
"Mom? Mom, who are you talking to?" Samantha said.
"She's talking with Death," James whispered in her ear, "She's weak from everything she's going through. You must fight and keep her awake until aid gets here."
"...He's waiting for you to come home." Michelle finished saying to Glinda. She reached out to her and Glinda grabbed her hand.
"MOM! FIGHT! STAY AWAKE!" Samantha yelled.
Michelle tried to pull on Glinda, but to no avail...and she was the strongest in her department, besides her father. Sweat poured from her brow as she fought the human holding on to her life. When the ambulance arrived, Michelle gave up.
Peter showed up to congratulate James and he seemed to tell him to watch as well.
Sam hugged and kissed Glinda as she was brought onto the ambulance and Sam was allowed to join her.
"It's a miracle," James and Michelle heard an EMT say to Samantha, "If that you had let your mother fall asleep before we arrived, she'd be gone. You did good, young lady."
"I love my mother and will always fight for her survival, no matter what." Samantha said resolutely.
Glinda was obviously in a lot of pain from her heart and from the accident and was writhing in it.
The sky lit up.
Samantha and Glinda jumped into the car.
Michelle and James just looked at each other.
"I don't know what to think." Michelle said.
"I don't either. It's kind of a lose-lose situation, it seems." James replied.
Samantha turned onto the main road.
"More of a win-lose. One person wins in either situation while the other loses. If I Transfer Glinda, Samantha cries in sadness. If you prevent the transfer, Glinda endures more pain. If you think about it, though, causing the persistence in Samantha doesn't prevent the Transfer. It only delays it. Who knows how much longer Glinda will have to live with all this pain"
"I have a confession," James said.
Samantha merged onto the freeway.
Michelle looked confusingly at James.
"I knew the whole time that all I had to do was inform Samantha what was going on. Love conquers all; even Death sometimes. Your father was growing concerned that you had forgotten what it was that you do. I was assigned to help you remember. Has this assignment helped you remember?"
Full of understanding and guilt for the way she had felt about her job, she replied, "Indeed. My job is not to defeat persistence or to assist people in giving up on life. My job is to end suffering. My job is to bring families long separated by death back together. My job is to Transfer those in pain to a dimension where it doesn't exist and to hold their hand as they finally get to meet the One who created them. That's my job and now I know it."
The accident happened. Michelle had her talk with Glinda and she took her by the hand and Transferred her out of this world.
"Is He wonderful?" Glinda asked.
"Yes. And He is very excited for you to see Him." Michelle responded.
"Who are you?" Glinda inquired.
"I'm Michelle and I'm here to Transfer you over to a world beyond your imagination."
Why do I even bother coming to these things anyway? It's not like things are going to change.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear boss asking her to report.
"Michelle? Are you with us?"
"Yes, sir. I apologize. Transfers went smoothly without incident. Specifics are in the reports sitting in front of each of you."
No wonder her father wasn't the one who attended these meetings. Much like him, she would rather be out in the field doing the work rather than reporting everyone else's work, but someone has to do report to the pencil pushers and she drew the short straw for this year. Making up the reports took a whole day, which left no time to Transfer. To be fair, every year a different agent was selected to do these reports and this was her last one for the year. Tomorrow, she'd get to go out again.
Leaving the meeting, she could barely contain her excitement until she thought about the reports...things had gotten too easy out in the field. While it was nice that things always went well and there were zero incidents in the last year (in the last several years, actually) it was kind of boring sometimes. Humanity had lost its will to fight, to some extent, and Michelle hadn't felt challenged in quite some time.
Walking into her office, she plunked herself in her chair and checked her email.
Subject: Special Assignment
Message:
See me in my office ASAP.
-Peter
Peter? Why did Peter want to see her? She wasn't even in his department. Oh well. She hopped out of her seat and headed to his office. When she walked in, she was surprised to see her father sitting in there as well.
"Michelle. Thank you for coming so quickly. Michael and I have been discussing how before you became a desk jockey for a year, you were starting to become bored with your work," Peter said.
Michelle glared at her father for oversharing. "I wouldn't say bored per se. It's just that technology has made our job too easy. People either no longer care to fight for life or they are no longer given the opportunity. I care about them and want for them to care about them too."
Michael smiled, clearly happy with how his daughter had turned out. "That's why you've been selected for this assignment. Someone in Peter's department is becoming not 'bored per se' with his job as well and we thought of a task to put both of you to the test."
"With permission from the Big Man, of course," Peter piped in.
"Of course. Are you interested?" Michael asked.
"YES!" Michelle just about screamed. Realizing she was in grave danger of becoming unprofessional in her demeanor, she took a breath and relaxed herself into the seat next to her father.
Peter hit his buzzer to his secretary. "Send him in."
A tall, broad shouldered blonde walked in. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was some kind of athlete...well, he kind of was. Peter began.
"Hello James. We want to see which one of you will win out competing against each other. As you know, you're from two different departments, but there was a time when we were constantly getting into each other's face. Before medical technology and cars and guns and...well...you get the picture. Your task is simply to succeed and hopefully by the end of your task, you will both have better appreciation for your jobs. This is your assignment..."
Peter pointed to a pretty young lady; early twenties, happy, no idea of what's about to hit her. Michael now continued.
"This is Samantha. Michelle, your task is to Transfer her mother, Glinda. James, your task is to help Samantha prevent the Transfer."
"What?" they asked simultaneously.
"We know this is unorthodox," Peter said, "but we think this will help you. You will have three gos at this. Best two out of three wins. Whoever succeeds two times will get a well-earned vacation."
Vacation? In their line of work, they never got vacation, but it sure sounded good. People seemed to enjoy vacations quite a bit and it would be nice to interact with them without Transferring or assisting them in some way.
"Deal," James said.
Michelle hesitated..."Deal."
It was time to go on assignment.
Day One. Samantha and Glinda jumped into the car to go to an appointment for Glinda. Michelle looked her over. This would be a cake walk. Glinda had a bad heart and it was clearly her time to go. But Michelle was confused on what Samantha had to do with anything. Sure, she was related to Glinda, but would that really make a difference? It would be interesting to see what James did to prevent the Transfer through Samantha. Michelle had never had to deal with someone in his department before. She wondered if he was as confused by her as she was of him.
"I'm not nervous about this appointment," Glinda said calmly.
"I am," replied Samantha. She turned off Glinda's home street onto the main road.
"Sam, we've talked about this. I'm ready to go if this experimental surgery didn't do what it was theorized to do."
"I am NOT ready for you to go, Mom!" Samantha yelled. She quickly merged onto the freeway.
Her eyes were on fire. Michelle just sighed. This is why her job had become so easy. People went to the doctor and when the doctor said it was over, they just resigned. She completely understood why Samantha was upset.
"Sam, I love you. You know that, but I am secure in my soul and ready to end the pain I've been in for so long. Please don't be angry with me for that." Glinda said just as calmly as before despite the tension hanging in the air of the car.
Samantha breathed deeply. "I know you do. And I understand but-"
Before she could finish her thought, a semi came up behind them fast and clipped their end as it changed lanes. Samantha's car swirled as she lost control and it flipped over off the freeway into the ditch. This was Michelle's moment. Where the heck was James?
Michelle approached Glinda. "Hello."
"Hello. Are you here for me?" Glinda asked.
"Mom?" Samantha asked groggily. "Mom, who are you talking to?"
Michelle answered Glinda's question. "Yes, are you ready? I heard you discussing things with your daughter. He's waiting for you to come home."
"He is?" Glinda inquired with tears in her eyes.
James was watching. Why wasn't he doing anything? It was almost like he wanted to lose.
"Yes." Michelle reached out for her and Glinda grasped her hand.
Samantha was still confused when the Transfer happened. Glinda was gone before she knew it. And when she realized it, it was too late.
All of a sudden, Michael showed up. "Hello, Glinda! I'm going to bring you home now. Michelle, I'd like you to stay with Samantha for a bit."
"What? But comfort isn't my job!"
"I didn't say it was."
When she turned to look at Samantha, she noticed someone in the Comfort department over there stroking her hair and whispering words into her ear. She'd never stayed to see the reaction of family after a Transfer before. Samantha was a mess and Michelle was miffed. This wasn't fair! Glinda gave in so easily and Samantha was left in a car upside down covered in her tears and the blood of her mother.
"Why didn't you fight?" Sam interrupted Michelle's thoughts. "You were so close to beating this! Why didn't you fight?!?"
Bright light filled the sky and James and Michelle were back to watching Samantha and Glinda jump into the car on the way to the appointment.
Michelle turned to James. "What are you doing? How could you just stand there and watch Glinda give up on life? You're in the Persistence department and you did nothing to help Samantha prevent me from Transferring Glinda!"
Samantha turned on to the main road.
James replied, "She was done with life! She was in pain and wanted it to end! Who am I to prevent that?"
"You're job is in the Persistence department! It's your job to...to...to help people persist. To fight for themselves regardless of what life, or death in this matter, throws at them. You're here to help them deal with it."
Samantha quickly merged onto the freeway.
"And you're job is to Transfer people into a better realm of reality."
"But look at what happened with Samantha! She was so sad about her mother leaving!"
"Did you see Glinda so happy to be out of pain and going to meet her Maker?"
"Do your job this time...or I won't even attempt mine."
The accident happened.
Michelle went and started her talk with Glinda.
"Mom? Mom, who are you talking to?" Samantha said.
"She's talking with Death," James whispered in her ear, "She's weak from everything she's going through. You must fight and keep her awake until aid gets here."
"...He's waiting for you to come home." Michelle finished saying to Glinda. She reached out to her and Glinda grabbed her hand.
"MOM! FIGHT! STAY AWAKE!" Samantha yelled.
Michelle tried to pull on Glinda, but to no avail...and she was the strongest in her department, besides her father. Sweat poured from her brow as she fought the human holding on to her life. When the ambulance arrived, Michelle gave up.
Peter showed up to congratulate James and he seemed to tell him to watch as well.
Sam hugged and kissed Glinda as she was brought onto the ambulance and Sam was allowed to join her.
"It's a miracle," James and Michelle heard an EMT say to Samantha, "If that you had let your mother fall asleep before we arrived, she'd be gone. You did good, young lady."
"I love my mother and will always fight for her survival, no matter what." Samantha said resolutely.
Glinda was obviously in a lot of pain from her heart and from the accident and was writhing in it.
The sky lit up.
Samantha and Glinda jumped into the car.
Michelle and James just looked at each other.
"I don't know what to think." Michelle said.
"I don't either. It's kind of a lose-lose situation, it seems." James replied.
Samantha turned onto the main road.
"More of a win-lose. One person wins in either situation while the other loses. If I Transfer Glinda, Samantha cries in sadness. If you prevent the transfer, Glinda endures more pain. If you think about it, though, causing the persistence in Samantha doesn't prevent the Transfer. It only delays it. Who knows how much longer Glinda will have to live with all this pain"
"I have a confession," James said.
Samantha merged onto the freeway.
Michelle looked confusingly at James.
"I knew the whole time that all I had to do was inform Samantha what was going on. Love conquers all; even Death sometimes. Your father was growing concerned that you had forgotten what it was that you do. I was assigned to help you remember. Has this assignment helped you remember?"
Full of understanding and guilt for the way she had felt about her job, she replied, "Indeed. My job is not to defeat persistence or to assist people in giving up on life. My job is to end suffering. My job is to bring families long separated by death back together. My job is to Transfer those in pain to a dimension where it doesn't exist and to hold their hand as they finally get to meet the One who created them. That's my job and now I know it."
The accident happened. Michelle had her talk with Glinda and she took her by the hand and Transferred her out of this world.
"Is He wonderful?" Glinda asked.
"Yes. And He is very excited for you to see Him." Michelle responded.
"Who are you?" Glinda inquired.
"I'm Michelle and I'm here to Transfer you over to a world beyond your imagination."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)